Paparazzi
by Random Inspired
Summary: BxK oneshot Bartimaeus and Kitty quickly discover that the paparazzi have no understanding of the term 'Private Time'. R&R!


Here is an old Barty fic I've just rediscovered in my notebook. Let me know if you be likin'!

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"If they saw us together…" I paused, whispering into Bartimeaus' neck, "Well let's just say my carrier wouldn't thank me. Not that I care more about my work then you, it's just that I need _some_ form of income… And you, geez. What would the other sprits do to you? You'd be shunned, and it would be my entire fault!" My voice had risen in its pitch through my monologue. The panic induced state I was in dragged me from my comfortable resting place on Bartimeaus' lap. I rose to my feet, and started to pace the hotel room. On his spot on his chair, Bartimeaus seemed to twitch. Or shrug. Truthfully, I couldn't tell what he was doing.

"Bartimeaus. Are you okay? It looked a bit like you were having a spasm or something…"

Bartimeaus sighed in the way he did when he felt underappreciated.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I was being understanding, but a bit exasperated." I raised an eyebrow slowly. "May I ask why..?" He was going to take the opportunity and run with it, I could tell by the expression on his face. I was going to have to shut him up soon, I could tell. I prepared myself to launch at him taking careful aim.

"If we've been over it once, we've been over it a million times," _Here we go,_ I thought to myself, waiting for the long winded rant coming in my direction. "We aren't going to get caught. I've put up so many protective nexus around this place I'm surprised that breeze is getting in!" He exclaimed pointing at one of the open windows, which was indeed allowing in a faint gentle wind. Bartimeaus continued on his rant, "Kitty, it's a beautiful thing we have going, you and I, I'm not going to let some second rate paparazzi set on getting the 'latest celebrity dish' knocking on our door and ruining it for us. As for the spirits, like I give a care what _they_ think, I'm better then most of them anyway! For the last time Kitty, no one will catch us, we will be-" I decided I had heard enough of his rant and, once again taking careful aim, flung myself at him, my lips connecting to his. We weren't gentle. He bit my lower lip, but only when he forewent that tact and ran his tongue across the shallow indentation between my lips, did I part for him. We battled, trying for dominance. His lips sent sparks up my spine and down to the tips of my fingers. Kissing Bartimeaus gave me a rush only akin to that of stealing from the magicians, back when it was necessary. But it seemed much more fulfilling to be engaging in this then robbing stuck up old men in need of an ego deflation. We, unfortunately, were so caught up in 'this' that we failed to notice anything until it was too late, and we were startled by a flash of white light.

The man grinned at us, and spoke after a few seconds, "Though the second rate comment _did_ sting a bit, I think it was worth an insult to prove a djinni and his dirty plaything wrong. Oh, wait 'till the guys at head office see this," The man rubbed his hands together in pure undiluted glee. I still sat, stalk still on Bartimeaus' lap, straddling him in a way which was becoming increasingly embarrassing. "Once they see this picture of the former leader of the resistance locking lips with a demon, I'll be sure to get that promotion. Ooh, that'll show Marsha. Just you wait… There will be so much trouble for the two of you." He cackled. I thought this was slightly over the top. Evidently, so did Bartimeaus, as he stood and set me carefully on the bed, insuring my safety before turning to the man. Bartimeaus nodded slowly and spoke, "I know what you mean about the trouble. There _will_ be lots of it. For you, I mean." The man looked puzzled as with that witty retort, Bartimeaus lunged foreword and enlarged his jaw. I saw a look of understanding cross the mans face, just before he was swallowed whole. And then he was gone. I sighed.

"The paparazzi really have been getting out of hand," I remarked, casually. "They're getting cockier and cockier each time, though I do wonder about this Marsha person… Secret lover do you think?"

"If she was, I will hold it against her for all time. She should have better control. We were interrupted, weren't we? Now he's gone and made me forgotten what was happening before he burst in…"

"My goodness," I exclaimed in mock horror, "I believe I too have forgotten! Would you mind terribly… reminding me..?" I wiggled my eyebrows, and crawling neared Bartimeaus on the bed. He shifted towards me a look in his eyes that I have to admit I liked very much. Our lips were merely inches apart when we saw another flash of white light.

We both groaned.

"Hah! Finally, the much sought after proof is mine! I have long waited for this day, slaving away-" Bartimeaus didn't let the new photographer finish his monologue, before gulping him down and wincing.

"This is horrible for my essence… All this human is starting to get stuck in my system."

"Is that why your nexus is so strong?" I baited him playfully. He growled at me and lunged, grinning as he captured my lips for another kiss.

And then, _flash_.

"At last-!"

We both rolled our eyes, and I moved out of Bartimeaus' path.The same thought going through our heads at the same time, _will they ever leave us alone?_

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AND I HAVE TO END THIS NOW, OR I WON'T STOP EVAR. This was one page in my note book. ONE. FLIPPING. PAGE. WITH PICTURES. Yeah. It kinda got a bit outta hand, didn't it..? I wrote this around four in the morning, so let me know if there are any glaring errors I need to be rid of. R&R, or the monkeys will come and threaten you with hook swords for your shoelaces and then go through your trash. VURTUAL COOKIES IF YOU KNOW VAGULY OF WHAT I SPEAK. *CoughA:TAScough*

Also. I forgot the disclaimer. So.

Idontownanything. Got it? No-Thing.

Maky! REVIEW. DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU ABOUT THE MONKEYS.


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